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Text - Humor - Top 15 Ways To Tell Spring Is Here.txt
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2003-08-15
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The Top 15 Other Ways to Tell When Spring is Coming
15> Joey Buttafuoco's plummage becomes more colorful and Heidi
Fleiss' buttocks become red and enlarged.
14> Jenny McCarthy switches from fur bikini to string bikini.
13> Your cat rolls surface-to-air missiles into position against
mockingbirds.
12> The year's first appearance of the Dallas Cowboys before a
grand jury.
11> Minneapolis weather forecast downgraded from "really friggin'
cold" to "extremely cold."
10> Rush Limbaugh takes off the wool flag and wraps himself in a
cotton one.
9> Seasonally correct Dennis Rodman switches back to white
pumps and gloves.
8> A warm, gentle funnel cloud picks up the first Tulsa
double-wide of the season and drops it near Wichita.
7> TV's Ellen comes out of the closet and doesn't see her shadow.
6> A young man's fancy turns to compulsion to hump everything in
sight.
5> All across America -- single women start shaving their legs
again.
4> AOL members who joined in December are finally able to get a
connection.
3> If Darryl Strawberry stumbles out of a bar and scratches
himself, we got us an early spring training.
2> NRA offers reward for carcass of first robin.
and the Number 1 Other Way to Tell When Spring is Coming...
1> Soup of the Day: Groundhog Stew